CHALI MULENGA
 Livingstone

Till death do us apart; this partnership will not die, is a matrimonial cliche that has been publicly proclaimed by couples.

Though a monotonous proclamation, 70-year-old Morden Silunyange and 68-year-old Priscilla Tamara Mhango - Silunyange soldier till the inevitable; if not likely finish line defined by death of a spouse.
 
Mr. Silunyange a septuagenarian born in 1950, and sexagenarian Mhango-Silunyange at 68 was born in 1952, more than a decade before Zambia attained independence from British colonial rule on Saturday 24th October 1964.

Like the proverbial keeping together, as a couple,  is cemented through  praying together and ensuring that unity of purpose is kept alive through being in emotionally and physically touch at all times.

The Silunyange's attest to prayer being a corner stone of their enviable 46 year marriage.

Morden Silunyange and Priscilla Tamara Mhango-Silunyange  have been graciously blessed by eight children; four boys and four girls.

A nostalgic Mhango narrates that she met Silunyange at Naminyanga mission secondary school in 1969.
 The school was coeducation school, Mhango was a talented netballer and Silunyange is talented footballer.
 She said they were at the dining hall as at the school both boys and girls used to eat together.
 She said Silunyange was his senior at school.
“It took us some time to say I love you to each other’s, we were last group sit for form two, as we also sat for form three examinations,” Mr Silunyange said.

Mr Silunyange said “when she came at school I was in form three and she was in form one”.
“I even played in the national team, I was a friend to her cousin, who introduced me to her. I did a background check on her using the head girl, who indicated to me that she is a good girl,” Mr Silunyange said.
“He introduced me to me to her and we greeted each,” he said.

Mr Silunyange said said she realised that she a daughter of reverand and knew that coming from such a setting she is a good girl.
“We used to over night prayers at school we prayed for what we wanted. we prayed that we would like spend the rest of our lives together. We cemented our friendship. We made a vow that we would marry but that we would remain chaste, however there was some kissing, he said.
 Mr Silunyange said every body at the school knew about the relationship  and that they never took the short of testing the fruit.
“We left school without having sex and we kept the vow she was staying in Lusaka and while I was in Livingstone because of the football that I participated in I got a h job with ZSIC in Lusaka,” Mr Silunyange said.
“We continued with our journey accordingly to the vow.
 In December 1971 he left school and  in 1972 she also left school,” he said.
He started work in 1972, and in 974 the got married.
 He said it was not easy for him to keep the vow on his part as they were a lot of temptation in the office.
“I had the biggest challenge at the office I don’t know maybe its the looks that contributed.
 As a footballer I had a lot of challenges to keep the vow.
 I ended up having Glenda in my struggle of keeping the vow and however I could not time my wife about it until after some years in our marriage, she was born in 1973,” Mr Silunyange said.
Mrs Silunyange said that she didn’t know about that he had a child until she had a third born.
 She said he informed that he had not told her because he feared that she would break up with her.
The couple continued with their lives until in 1987 when she failed her examinations.
Modern said men are always men who are in the battle field.

Mrs. Silunyange implored boys to always exercise care as girls more often than not keen on offering 'non existent' promises.

He heard about my previous affairs," said Mrs Silunyange.

“If I was not a God-fearing person, I would have packed (died), but my belief through the Lord Jesus Christ has kept me, men are men, they have children out there from mistresses,” Mrs. Silunyange said.

Mr. Silunyange said his father-in-law was hard on him and a 'hard nut to crush' but an uncle to his wife intervened.

Mr. Silunyange said he was counseled by the elders of the church which has consolidated marital friendship in the last 51 years.

“When I saw that he was being pursued by other women I continued to pray for him. I then moved from Lusaka to Mazabuka," said an appreciative Mrs.
Silunyange.

Mrs. Silunyange days God has continued to answer their prayers and put everything in God’s hands.

"Men are always in danger without the prayers of their wives. He can be gone with the wind, due to deceptions, but do not leave your marriage for someone else even if they are problems,” she said.  

Mr. Silunyange said couples should not engage in physical fights, as he regretted slapping his wife once.

"In 1978, when my mother was at home. I regret hitting her on the neck, but we have reconciled moved on and are in both word and deed a happily married couple,” Mr Silunyange said.

Mrs. Siluanyage said she grow up on her father’s farm near Twikatane.
“I used to play netball until, I was five months pregnant. There is need for couples to always have common interest in their marriages,” recollected Mrs. Silunyange.

An ardent golfer, Mrs. Silunyange resigned from National Assembly after a seven-year-employment-tenure.

To paraphrase, late Zambian Musician, Paul 'Bauze-Ngozi' Nyirongo, it was a 'Telephone or Cellular Phone Love' as her husband lived in another town, a trend that was not accepted then.

Secondly, during the United National Independence Party (UNIP) Government of former First Republican President, Dr. Kenneth David Buchizya Kaunda,  couples 'people' were not allowed to work in the same company.

In December 1982, Mrs. Silunyange started work with ZANACO in Mazabuka after a previous stint with the National Assembly of Zambia.

In 1987, her husband was again transferred to Livingstone and likewise requested  to lodge one as well which was considered in the affirmative.

It was during a similar transfer in 1989 that she delivered a baby her employer approved a maternity leave.  

However, I was granted three leave days I could not take it as the baby had grown.


"Whenever, my husband was transferred I would remain behind just for a few weeks and would join him later," said Mrs. Silunyange.
 
Since retiring from ZANACO, she has focused on developing a family farm.
 
Mr. Silunyange recollects going to the club as a couple and enjoying life.
“I was always busy with football we used to live stay flat.
Mr. Silunyange said his wife was a Senior Secretary at Parliament and later found work at the Zambia National Commercial Bank (ZNCB), which has since rebranded as  ZANACO.  

Mrs. Silunyange eventually retired in 1996, a year after her husband left formal employment in 1995.
Mr. Silunyange reminisced  that whilst at the Zambia State Insurance Corporation (ZSIC),  they would always travel together as couple, more so as as his wife is sports enthusiast.

"We are now ageing, and lack the physical and emotional strength to attend sporting events but continue to pray as seeking the grace of the Almighty God, through the Lord Jesus Christ helps bond a marriage.
People must not give up easily in their marriages on account of a third person person causing confusion, but remain steadfast through distancing themselves from such obstacles," counseled, The Silunyange's chorused.

Mr. Silunyange said as a young and energetic couple they played tennis and golf together, and since retiring focus is on farming at their small-holding in Kasiya area.
Mr. Silunyange said they have 21 grandchildren and at the moment there are a couple of great grand children in the offing.

"I became a  happiest person the moment I married my wife life, and believe our strength is a consequence of God's grace," reminisced Mr. Silunyange, pointing out that he has learnt to be careful in life as one can easily be influenced at community and workplace level.

Mrs. Silunyange said it is unfortunate that most of young people in present-day Zambia, do not listen to advice and rather heed without question viewed advanced by peers.  
 “You have to always cry to God for help, as at times you may think to yourself that maybe, I made a mistake but with prayer you will be surprised how a perceived problem goes away,” Mrs. Silunyange said.

She said marriage is life-time journey that will always have 'pot holes' which can easily be resolved through dialogue.
She said it is important to always forgive other people.
She said life is not meant to be smooth.
“The main key in a successful  marriage is creating an environment in which  communication is present as a lack of it on the basis of either a man or a woman failing to calmly resolve a misunderstanding will hurt a relationship. One cannot justify men failing to show remorse, on account of being a head of a household” Mrs Silunyange admonished.

Mrs. Silunyange says being silent in a marriage is dangerous as such a couple will not amicably resolve conflicts. You can not live in one house, share a room and roof, yet fail to talking to each other.    
Mr. Silunyange echoed his wife's view on the import of 'Frank Talk' among couples.
“Where two different people with a diverse background, tie the knot as wife and husband,  differences and quarrels can not be wished away  and easily resolve our differences,” he said.
 Life is not always smooth sailing; you have to endure all sorts of difficult developments as a couple,” Mr Silunyange advised young couples.
End